One Month Down...

I moved to Brooklyn, NY one month ago today.

I still say "what the hell'" at least four to six times a day.

I am apparently a real adult now but for some reason it still doesn't feel that way. I have tried to understand just what the thing is that feels missing...I think I nailed it down. I am living a dream. I get to wake up every morning and go audition (PERFORM) for people. So what if occasionally (OFTEN) I will have to sit around and wait? I get to read and write and drink coffee while I do. Then I get to go home and go to the gym and maybe even *gasp* NAP, before I go to my job at night or do all the other things required of me to succeed in this field (go to dance class, voice lessons, read plays, check emails, self-submit, watch shows, rehearse material, etc.).

Actors are always hustling but in reality you only have to hustle as hard as you want. No one is here forcing you to do the work. Some days you don't have to stress about when you will get your next pay check from acting... but most days you do. Some days you feel a supreme sadness that you aren't normal like the rest of your graduating class that got jobs. Joining companies that are innovative and growing and making robots or saving lives. Some days you throw up the middle finger to it all and you go to Target.

Let me tell you a story about my day yesterday to give you some insight on how this NYC living thing goes...

11PM on Tuesday...finish work and go home.

I knew I needed to wake up at an ungodly hour the next morning because SOMEONE in this deranged theatrical universe decided that unofficial lists should start at like 5AM in the city and I have a 30 minute commute from my apartment to most of the audition spaces. Do I plan to get there at 5AM? NOPE. I plan to wake up at 5:15AM, get my life together quickly and run to the train to get to the audition location a bit before 6. This is normal. You do this and you sign-up and you go back home/kill time until the audition actually begins around 10AM. This is something that happens EVERY DAY. THIS IS WHAT WE DO (assuming you are non-equity). Knowing all of these things, I decided showering the night before was wise. I smelled like brick oven pizza anyway. So shower it was. By the time everything was all said and done, I crawled into bed a bit after midnight and began dreaming.

cut to 5:15AM....alarm goes off

Realizing it was time to get up, my body and brain cursed then succumbed and woke up. I got ready in about 10 minutes. Not my personal best but close. Scurried to the train, got on with no issue, made my transfers, got to the location and BOOM! Was signed up in the first 20 non-equity women on the list. At this point it is about 6:10AM...I knew I would have a TON of time so I figured I would just go home and get all my things together before the audition anyway. The commute home was simple and I even got a coffee as a reward for such a good start to my day.

cut to 9:10AM....preparing to leave my apartment (again)

I check my phone to make sure I have no messages as I am getting my bag together and I decide to check Audition Update to see if anyone has posted about how many people were signed up thus far.

*Insert dramatic music*

The first post I see says "Monitor did not transfer unofficial list". Well. This blows. Now I realize I must hurry to reclaim my spot towards the beginning of the audition line. All the while knowing full well that I should have stayed nearby so I could make the quick trip to the space instead of the full 30 minute commute. I grab all my things, including a PB&J to keep my tummy happy for the next few hours and rush to the train.

cut to 9:40AM...on the train

Naturally the trains are packed with last minute commuters trying to get to work. For some reason, I look at all of them and think "I wish I didn't have to get to work until 10AM". I check Audition Update again to see if there are any new developments on the list. No one has answered the question on if they will even SEE non-equity performers today. Nonetheless. I am scurrying down there. We get a post finally from a lovely human with the username "yogagirl91" that explains what happened.

"There were two lists (one from the location on 8th and one at the correct location on 38th), the monitor said she could not honor them, so we had to start over. As of right now, they are planning on seeing non-eqs, but the list closes at noon."

Relief. We know that they are planning to see us and we know what happened. I can breathe easily. I get off the train and enter the sea of bodies exiting the station. I get to the street and without thought begin my travel to the Ripley-Grier space. I know which space is the correct location... because I checked the call unlike the nitwits that started another list at the wrong place....

cut to just after 10AM...

I check one last time while waiting to cross the street to see what the numbers look like on Audition Update. 60 people. Not as bad as I thought it would be but still nevertheless...hurrying to avoid getting an even later spot.

I get inside the building and run upstairs. There are a million people in the space as always and I spot the bathroom. I think "go change clothes now and then finish makeup stuff once you are signed back up". I go to the bathroom and as I push open the door....HORROR. AGONY. PAIN. DISPAIR. ANGER. FRUSTRATION. SADNESS. COMEDY.

I forgot my audition clothes at home.

I woke up at 5AM....to go put my name on a list for an audition...that didn't get used....and then I forgot my audition outfit.....

Life is funny. Auditioning is sometimes torturous. Some might say that actors are masochists. We love rejection because it makes us want to be better the next time.

Until next time...I'm going to eat my PB&J on the train back to Brooklyn and pretend I didn't ride the train four times and walk 5 miles all before 11AM.

Happy 1 month, you filthy beautiful city.